


Just kindness

by kate_the_reader



Series: The season [23]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: 31 Days of Ineffables Advent Calendar Challenge 2019 (Good Omens), Ficlet, M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:06:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21922633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kate_the_reader/pseuds/kate_the_reader
Summary: Aziraphale is haunted by the ghosts of those he could not help
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: The season [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564690
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Just kindness

Maybe it is that story people seem to love so much at this time of year, but Aziraphale is haunted by things he failed to do, people he could not help, those for whom his attempts at blessing came too late, or were too slight to penetrate the bubble of misery that surrounded them. 

“It’s never enough,” he tells Crowley. “Well, you wouldn’t understand, you weren’t trying to help, to make lives easier. I don’t think I’m very good at it.”

“That’s not true,” says Crowley. “You smiled at that young woman outside the supermarket and helped her with her pushchair. You got that child to stop crying. You noticed the woman at the checkout, who had the headache, and was enduring her fourth week of Christmas carols, when she wasn’t even given a day off for Eid. And that’s just this morning! Of course you’re good at it.”

“But that’s just kindness, and noticing. It’s not blessing, really helping.”

“Angel!” Crowley is exasperated. “Trust me, I know how this works. That scheme of mine with the phones? It worked the same way, except opposite. How do you think I got that idea? It was by seeing how you do things.”

“Crowley! What thing with the phones?”

“Oh, right. You didn’t know about that. Ages ago, before Adam was … actually, it was the same day. I fiddled with the phone system. None of the mobile phones in London worked for a day. All kinds of mayhem and petty annoyances. Missed appointments, recriminations, false accusations … so much pain, cascading from one irritated person to another. I thought I was very clever.”

“That’s awful, Crowley!”

“It was. Some people never recovered. But my point is, I knew it would work, because I had seen the way you do things. A kind word to one person, and then they feel a bit better, so they hold the door open for someone else, or give up their seat on the bus to someone who looks tired, and then that person feels better, so they, I don’t know, pick up a piece of litter and a kid sees them do it, and then they don’t drop their sweet wrapper. You’re so good at it, you don’t even notice you’re doing it. It just comes naturally to you. You gave your sword to a young couple who had to face a hostile world, angel!”

Crowley’s voice has been rising as he warmed to his theme, pacing around the room.

“Yes, but, that phone thing, that was on a big scale, and just being kind to one person at a time, it’s so slow. And I know I’ve failed, plenty of times.”

Crowley stops pacing, and comes to sit on the sofa with Aziraphale, taking his hand. “But you keep trying. And you made me stop, so you’re way ahead now.”

“I suppose. But I still think about the failures.” 

“Of course you do. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t.”

Crowley sits quietly with him the whole of that night, while Aziraphale remembers those failures, and apologises to each person — each ghost.


End file.
